Today I realised that I do believe that marriage is for life, and that surprised me. But that both people have to have that same feeling and that feeling has to last for that lifetime. I hadn't realised I had that strength of feeling about it. And how much I am affected by this failure. And that that is what it feels like, failure. And it hurts.
So this is about more than the loss of the future, it is about my very beliefs and perhaps that helps me understand quite why I feel as bad as I do. It doesn't make it any better or any easier, but it is a step along the way, a step towards acceptance.
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